As of yesterday Curtis has been gone for a month now. I don't know how I've survived this long and I really don't know how I'm going to survive the rest of it. Some days I feel trapped (like today). I know it really helps when I stay busy but then I have days like today where I'm just tired and don't feel like doing much and the kids just really test my patience with the things they do and the messes they make (that I usually end up cleaning by myself after countless times of asking them). I finally just broke down and cried. Nikki then felt bad and promised she would never make another mess. Ah, how nice that sounds but how unrealistic. I had to tell her that everyone makes messes but we just need to clean them up when we're finished. Finally, to somewhat preserve my sanity I found an excuse to get out of the house. I went to my dad's house to return some borrowed items.
And it did help a little that before we went to my dad's house we were outside watching our neighbor's cats play around our yard. There were at least 6 at one time. One of them was a little kitten that was just so adorable. I had opened our garage door to prepare to leave and some of them invited themselves in. So I kept seeing them run in and out. The only exception was the kitten. It didn't want to leave as soon as it found somewhere warm to hide. The kids had fun with the cats and so did I. It was probably the highlight of the day.
I also took out some frustration by going through Nikki's toy bucket and getting rid of some more toys. I will be going through Garrett's toys hopefully tomorrow as well. There are just so many that they really don't appreciate having them. So I have some cleaning and reorganizing to do. I say reorganizing because I need to find a way that the kids can't get to all of the toys all at once. It drives me nuts when kids just run into a room and start throwing out all of the toys onto the floor and then they don't even play with most of the things they got out. And now that our house is bigger, there are more places that they have to take and dump them.
I pray that the next 3 months go by quickly. I'll have a little baby to keep me happily busy and I'll get to see my husband again for his first R&R. *sigh*