As of yesterday Curtis has been gone for a month now. I don't know how I've survived this long and I really don't know how I'm going to survive the rest of it. Some days I feel trapped (like today). I know it really helps when I stay busy but then I have days like today where I'm just tired and don't feel like doing much and the kids just really test my patience with the things they do and the messes they make (that I usually end up cleaning by myself after countless times of asking them). I finally just broke down and cried. Nikki then felt bad and promised she would never make another mess. Ah, how nice that sounds but how unrealistic. I had to tell her that everyone makes messes but we just need to clean them up when we're finished. Finally, to somewhat preserve my sanity I found an excuse to get out of the house. I went to my dad's house to return some borrowed items.
And it did help a little that before we went to my dad's house we were outside watching our neighbor's cats play around our yard. There were at least 6 at one time. One of them was a little kitten that was just so adorable. I had opened our garage door to prepare to leave and some of them invited themselves in. So I kept seeing them run in and out. The only exception was the kitten. It didn't want to leave as soon as it found somewhere warm to hide. The kids had fun with the cats and so did I. It was probably the highlight of the day.
I also took out some frustration by going through Nikki's toy bucket and getting rid of some more toys. I will be going through Garrett's toys hopefully tomorrow as well. There are just so many that they really don't appreciate having them. So I have some cleaning and reorganizing to do. I say reorganizing because I need to find a way that the kids can't get to all of the toys all at once. It drives me nuts when kids just run into a room and start throwing out all of the toys onto the floor and then they don't even play with most of the things they got out. And now that our house is bigger, there are more places that they have to take and dump them.
I pray that the next 3 months go by quickly. I'll have a little baby to keep me happily busy and I'll get to see my husband again for his first R&R. *sigh*
5 comments:
I'm glad you were able to come over last night to relieve some of the stress. I know it must be hard. I can't even imagine. I'm sorry I wasn't very good company. I got sick to my stomach and lost all my dinner after you left. Tony said I looked like death warmed over! I feel a little better today but I hope the kids don't catch something from me and I hope I can make it through the day because I have all the primary girls over tonight for their Bof M party!
Deedra you are one of the strongest people I've ever known. I think about you a lot knowing you are alone and pregnant . I would be a huge mess! I would be going so peoples homes all the time just to get out. I hope the next few months pass quickly! Changing the subject I was thinking this last Halloween about all of the fun parties we would have at your house for Halloween. Such fun memories. =)
you are more than welcome to come hang out over here. No invitation needed. I am going to take a bin of toys and stick it on the shelf in the closet. If they go a few months without asking for those toys, I will chuck em. Also Tamara suggested puting a lock on the closet, that way they have to ask to get into the closet. just one of those cheap swing locks like Kannie has on her front door.
It seems like you are alone, but you are not. There are so many people who want to and will help when you need it. Also Pour your heart out to Heavenly Father. He will make you an even stronger woman!! You are amazing. Hugs!!
Deedra, It does get lonely sometimes... I'm glad that you were able to get out of the house though. The first month goes by so slow!!! After another week or so, Curtis will be back home sooner than you will know it!
How's the baby? I hope you get feelin' better soon! Take care!
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